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Faith in the Future

Faith in the future…that is a hard concept to grasp when you are facing infertility. As my husband and I started our life together, we were okay with the thought of a small family. Never did I guess it would take so long and have so many setbacks.

We started to be surrounded by other couples having babies, from siblings to cousins, coworkers, and close friends. We tried so hard to take the steps in life to be a strong couple and hopefully good parents. It frustrated me to hear those women speaking about how hard pregnancy was for them. Listen, I know it can be but when your time, money and thoughts are consumed with just the mere chance to feel that flutter of a baby kicking inside of you, hearing how miserable some women are was so frustrating.

We had to seek help. We went through all the steps of tests and started IUIs with our OBGYN. Our doctor was supportive, and we were hopeful, young, and ready to take the chance.

First time…FAIL. I had come to the conclusion early on in the fertility battle that you must have faith in the future to believe in this miracle. I remember exactly where my husband and I were when I explained that I believe we are all sent to this earth exactly when we are supposed to be here. I knew that someday a child of ours would be someone’s best friend, someone’s spouse, someone’s confidant, maybe even save someone’s life. I had faith that our struggle would bless another person someday. I had faith that our child would bless us exactly when we needed it. This thought process allowed us to be calm and confident as we tried IUI again.

Second time…WORKED!!! We were so lucky to be blessed with our beautiful first-born child, Emery. She was the healthy, happy baby we had hoped for. A mother never forgets the first time she holds her baby and the day both of you fought for them to be in this world safely.

I enjoyed my whole pregnancy, I’m sure it was because I was never going to complain about something I had longed for. We enjoyed all phases of life with Emery and were quite content for some time. We decided to try IUI again when she was three years old. We saw the same doctor, went through new tests and tried several more IUI’s. Finally, one of them worked again! We were so excited, but at the same time were getting mixed signals from my symptoms and an ultrasound that was almost devastating to hear. Turns out, I had an ectopic pregnancy. They had to do surgery and were able to save my tube.

Remember when I said have faith in the future at the beginning of this? Well, that ectopic was about enough to take the confidence right out of us both. My husband and I were devastated, as I’m sure many of you reading this that have lost a pregnancy have felt. Years later and countless amounts of IUI’s, we finally seemed to give in to the disappointment. That is when we found Doctor Conway.

As we met with her, she brought back confidence in the thought of having another child. When we wavered under the pressure, she called me and personally walked through the fears and hesitation we were facing as a couple. Dr. Conway’s staff in both Idaho Falls and Utah helped us successfully achieve our first round of IVF. With the help of Dr. Conway and her staff, I am celebrating this Mother’s Day with a happy, healthy, seven-month-old baby girl named Finleigh. Our girls are eight years apart and I am so fortunate to have them call me Mom for a lifetime.

The tears and fears leading up to IVF, not to mention the countless needles going in and out of your body is worth everything when you are able to caress the hands of your new baby and smell the top of her freshly washed head while you snuggle her in your arms. The blessing of being the Mother of my two girls for the rest of our lives has been more than I ever dreamed of. Looking into their eyes and hearing their laughs reminds me of what a battle we faced to get both of them here.

Waiting patiently to get your Mother’s Day is hard to do, but remain confident in those helping hands around you, believe in a strong bond with your partner, and have faith a miracle is in your future.

Sending all my love, faith, and confidence to those still hoping to be called Mom in the future.

Mother’s Day 2019
By Becky Walls